Reliving the past Forgetting the future
by Rhody Flint
Summary: Hermione returns to Hogwarts after being gone for two years. A lot can happen in two year and what was she running from.
1. Chapter 1

The girl sighed, and glanced at the scene in front of her, a band of Death Eaters stood huddled in a circle, cowering in fear, whilst looking at the dead body of Bellertrix LeStrange. Smirking, the girl looked at the body, reliving the memory, she took pride in the fact that she had not giving the woman a chance to scream and escape what was oh so badly to her.

Figuring that the death nibblers had been put through enough for one night, she transformed into a black phoenix, and flew from the tree that stood guard over the dead.

Upon arriving back to her hideout, the girl took the time to look in the mirror, and was surprised at what she saw, for the person in front of her was slim, toned, tanned skin. Chocolate eyes that were almost amber when the light hit them just right, a mane of chocolate brown hair. In my defense the girl said to herself it had been two years since I have looked in the mirror.

After turning her eyes away, from the shocking appearance of herself, she realized she was not alone, turning round she saw an animal, she had hoped not to have seen. "Well Fawkes I had hoped not to have seen you again, but then again Fate has not been kind enough, to leave me alone" she mused to herself as she walked to greet the phoenix. Fawkes let out a shrill one note cry, as if to say 'I'm right here you know'. Chuckling to herself, the girl walked over to take the note that Fawkes had tied to his leg, after removing the note, Fawkes abruptly left in a burst of ruby red flames. Unraveling the piece of parchment, the girl looked down and gasped, three words glared up at her, and all her old memories that she had tried so desperately to forget, after what had happened to her.

Three words, was all it took to change somebody's life beyond imagination. The three words, that had sent her slowly regained life back out of control, were staring up at her never letting her forget.

The three words you may ask have a look for yourself.

'_Come home Hermione'_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**HEY EVERYBODY THANK YOU TO THE PEOPLE THAT LEFT REVIEWS.**

**SORRY I DID NOT MENTION THAT I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER THAT BELONGS TO J.K ROWLING**

**ANYWAY HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER**

Hermione growled at the piece of parchment that had just flipped her world upside down. Pacing back and forth around the room, she fumed, "Me go back, after what they did to me, oh no not a chance" she snarled. Continuing to pace she carried on ranting, "If they need my help, they can forget it, I mean who always got them out of the messes they landed themselves in, huh me that's who, and did I ever get thanked no, I never did." Pausing she looked around the room for something to destroy, in hopes of making her anger cool down, she noticed a picture frame, on the small coffee table.

Storming over to it, she whipped out her wand, "Reducto" she growled, as the offending picture as it got blasted into oblivions of tiny pieces. Feeling much, better than she had a minute ago. Shaking, she put her wand inside her robes, and collapsed onto the floor. Suddenly an orange cat came out of the kitchen, sensing that his mistress was in distress, he padded over to her and jumped onto her lap.

Letting out a mirthless chuckle Hermione began to pet the cat, "Oh what should I do Crooks, I mean a part of me wants to, just flat out say NO, in their faces, and leave them in the mess they created, but another part of me, wants to just go and help" sighing she looked at her cat, who was looking up at her with concerned black eyes (A.N Does anyone know what a cat's eye color is because I have no idea). Hermione laughed again, "Look at me I'm talking to a cat, who has no idea what I am saying, and yet I'm talking to him as if he was my psychiatrist, I really have gone mad.

"This would be so much easier if I didn't love him", looking at the parchment again, she made up her mind, walking over she picked up the note and scribbled her reply on the back of it. Placing the letter in her regular black envelope, that housed a silver wax seal, of a phoenix, in the center, she called Fawkes to her.

The phoenix reappeared in a burst of flames, and catching her eye, gave a shrill of annoyance. "Alright I'm sorry for being mean earlier Fawkes, can you forgive me?" Hermione asked, whilst at the same time thinking, if she was somehow channeling the insane personality of the late Bellertrix LeStrange. Tying the note to Fawkes leg, he again vanished for the third time that night in a roar and flash of fire.

Staring at the spot were Fawkes had just stood, she thought to herself, ' I should be happy right, I mean I'm going to the one place I have ever called home, and I get to see **HIM **again. I should be happy'.

'But then again it has been a long time since I've been happy, and even longer since I've thought of HIM in that way.'

She went to bed that night thinking about her decision, it should make her feel happy, and she was going to Hogwarts again for the first time in two years. So why did she feel as if her heart was not going to survive, the encounter that would no doubt happen when all was revealed, and HE betrayed her AGAIN. She was meant to be happy, but all she could feel was her heart getting trapped, in the cold ice tomb, she had put it in forever, after she had left, begin to do what she couldn't do, no what she refused to do. She felt her heart cry, and she knew it would be a long time before it finished weeping.


	3. Chapter 3

Reliving the past Forgetting the future Chapter 3

**I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, THAT BELONGS TO J.K ROWLING AND I DO NOT OWN THIS SONG WHICH BELONGS TO S CLUB 7**

Closing her trunk with a resounding slam, Hermione did a last minute check of her... Well you had to call it a home, even though it was far from it and closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, she placed Crookshanks pet carrier on top of her trunk, and with barley any sound, she apparated leaving no trace of evidence, that a cold hearted killer had lived there and, there was no evidence of what she planned to do.

At Kings Cross Station, nobody noticed a girl with a dark secret appear out of nowhere, but then again Hermione thought 'Nobody notices me, until it's too late', with that thought in mind, she allowed a satisfied smirk to appear on her beautiful face, that was almost like marble, but we all know that marble wears away in time. Hermione glanced down so as to avoid eye contact, with everybody that tried to look, at her as she made her way to platform 9 ¾ , catching sight of herself in a rain puddle, she grimaced 'I may be 14 but I may as well be 114 after all the secrets and burdens I carry' she mused to herself.

After storing her trunk on the baggage carrier on the scarlet train she hoped she would never have to set foot on again, she sat down in a compartment, with her I-pod. Now I know what you're thinking, but electric items don't work because of the magic interference, BUT this is the smartest witch of the age, so surely she must be able to make electric items work, and she had. Placing Shuffle songs on, she stretched her legs so that she was lying on back, on her seat.

When the song started to play, she immediately wanted to change it, for it made her realize how she felt, also it was her and HE'S song, but she forced herself to listen to it, she deserved the pain.

Sometimes It's wrong to walk away  
Though you think it's over  
Knowing there's so much more to say  
Suddenly the moment's gone  
And all your dreams are upside down  
And you just want to change the way  
The world goes round  
Tell me  
Have you ever loved and lost somebody  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry  
Can't you see  
That's the way I feel about you and me baby  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking  
Looking down the road you should be taking  
I should know  
'Cause I loved and lost  
The day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong  
We should be together  
Back in your arms where I belong  
Now I finally realize  
It was forever that I found  
I'd give it all to change  
The way the world goes round

Tell me  
Have you ever loved and lost somebody  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry  
Can't you see  
That's the way I feel about you and me baby  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking  
Looking down the road you should be taking  
(I should know)  
I should know  
'Cause I loved and lost  
The day I let you go

I really want to hear you say  
That you know just how it feels  
To have it all and let it slip away  
Can't you see  
I know the moment's gone  
I'm still holding on somehow  
Wishing I could change the way  
The world goes round

Tell me  
Have you ever loved and lost somebody  
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry  
(Can't you see)  
That's the way I feel about you and me baby  
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking  
Looking down the road you should be taking  
(I should know)  
I should know  
'Cause I loved and lost  
The day I let  
Yes I loved and lost  
The day I let  
Yes I loved and lost  
The day I let you go

As the song came to a close, she felt as if she was going to burst into tears, but she willed herself to show no emotion, or sense of weakness, especially when it came to HIM. Closing her eyes, she fell asleep dreaming of a time, of when she had loved and lost somebody, she had lost that somebody forever, and she would love him forever.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi Sorry for not updating quicker, I have been very busy.**

**So you know the drill I do not own Harry Potter and it only belongs to J.K Rowling and if I put a song in this chapter I don't own it because it belongs to the artist.**

Waking up from her unfortunate trip from memory lane, Hermione woke up, and saw that it was getting dark outside. She was going to get out her copy of 'Hogwarts A History', but she decided not to, for it brought back unwanted memories of the past. She decided to listen to one of her favorite songs; it was from one of her favorite films of all time.

The film was 'Anastasia', the song was journey to the past, and Hermione realized the song, sort of told the story of her right now, because she was scared of confronting her past, she was scared of learning her past all over again and she also couldn't remember a time, when she had a home, a family and someone that truly loved her.

Sighing she whispered to herself "Not that I blame them, I mean who could love ME I mean, all you need to do is look at me, and you automatically want to get as far away from me as possible. Not to mention what I have done in the past, and what I will do in the future", she muttered to herself darkly. Closing her eyes she pressed the play button on her IPod, and the lyrics hit her ears and mind at full force.

Heart, don't fail me now!  
Courage, don't desert me!  
Don't turn back now that we're here.  
People always say  
Life is full of choices  
No one ever mentions fear!  
Or how a road can seem so long  
How the world can seem so vast  
Courage see me through  
Heart I'm trusting you  
On this journey...to the past

Somewhere down this road  
I know someone's waiting  
Years of dreams just can't be wrong  
Arms will open wide  
I'll be safe and wanted  
Finally home where I belong  
Well, starting here, my life begins  
Starting now, I'm learning fast  
Courage see me through  
Heart I'm trusting you  
On this journey...to the past

Heart don't fail me now!  
Courage doesn't desert me!

Home, Love, Family  
There was once a time  
I must have had them too  
Home, Love, and Family  
I will never be complete  
until I find you...

One step at a time,  
One hope, then another  
Who knows where this road may go  
Back to who I was  
On to find my future,  
Things my heart still needs to know  
Yes, let this be a sign!  
Let this road be mine!  
Let it lead me to my past  
Courage see me through  
Heart I trust you  
to bring me home...  
At last!  
At last!  
Courage sees me through  
Heart I trust you  
yea...

Opening her eyes, Hermione smiled, a small almost unnoticeable smile, but if you knew her well, you could tell it was there. Looking grimly at her trunk, she with as much dignity as she could muster took out her robes and put them on. There she thought with a grim thought, 'I am now completely in my past, which is where I don't belong, because I don't belong anywhere' she cursed to herself.

Then after 5 minutes the train stopped. Taking a deep breath she gripped her backpack, and stepped off the train. Looking around a sense of warmth washed over Hermione, and she sighed happily. She may have never wanted to be here again, but she had to admit, that Hogwarts was her home, and it always would be.

She took one step forward, and crashed into someone. Standing up Hermione gasped as the person on the floor groaned in pain. "Oh my God I am so sorry, here let me help you up!" she exclaimed, stretching out her hand, the person, who was a boy, took it, and before she knew it, she was staring into the intense soul searching eyes of HIM the one person, who she had trusted and he had betrayed her. Taking one look at him, she turned on her heels and ran to the carriages, which would take her up to the school, before HE could say anything.

Clambering into a carriage, she slammed the door, and took deep calming breaths. 'Of all the people, I had to bump into I had to bump into him, out of everybody in the school, why did it have to be HIM?' 'But HE never has been just anyone, has he' her conscious reminded her.

Cursing her logic, she pictured HIS face, when she had helped HIM up. The messy hair was still the same, the same boyish charm was there, and HIS eyes. His eyes had not changed. You see, she had never been able to forget those eyes, no matter how hard, she tried. Those intense emerald eyes, that had looked at her but not been able to recognize her, had broken her heart all over again. She had never forgotten him, so how comes he had forgotten her.

Oh how she would give anything for him to forgive her, just once would she love to hear "I love you", the forbidden words, that would never come out of equally forbidden lips of none other than HARRY POTTER.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

**HEY EVERYONE SORRY I HAVE NOT UPDATED IN AGES, BEEN BUSY HAPPY NEW YEAR**

**HERE IS NEXT CHAPTER**

**ENJOY**

**I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, BECAUSE IF I DID IT WOULD BE HMS HARMONY ALL THE WAY.**

It was raining by the time, the carriages pulled up in the Hogwarts court yard. Getting out of the carriage, Hermione instantly became soaked to the bone, but she wasn't bothered, she had been through worse, MUCH worse.

Stepping into the entrance hall, she froze, there right in front of her, was a huge banner with items in glass cases next to it. This did not bother her, for she had recalled, that when the Potters had died a monument, had been resurrected to remember them, but as far as she knew, it was taken down, on Dumbledores wishes. No it did not bother her, what DID bother her however, was the fact that the banner had a picture of her, HER, did everyone think she was dead? Did they really think that she left the school, just to die?

Oh she was mad and when she found out who did this, she would put them and her alone, in an empty room for five minutes, and during those five minutes, she would show them, that a paperclip, made a fine choice of torture weapon. Walking over she inspected the contents of the cases, knowing everything in there was a copy, for when she had left she had left nothing behind.

Frowning, she shook her head in disgust, and was about to walk away, when a sign caught her eye. It was in the shape of an open book, and it read the following

'_This monument is put up in remembrance of our best friend Hermione._

_She died far too young._

_There were books waiting to be discovered._

_And there were fun times too had been had._

_But she passed away before she gave the world a chance to see what she was made of._

_She was our angel _

_Our guardian_

_Our friend_

_Sleep well Hermione_

_We hope to see you again_

_By Harry James Potter_

_And Ronald Billius Weasley_

Growling she began to lose her temper, 'What the hell is this crap' she thought. 'Guardian, friend_,_ ANGEL' she thought in rage, 'Ileft because of them, and they used me for their own gain'. Walking away, she had half a mind to smash the dame thing and be done with it, when. "You get away from that monument!" snapped a familiar voice, which held the traces of a Scottish accent. Groaning Hermione turned around and looked into the eyes of her old mentor, "Professor McGonagall I hope you are well" Hermione inquired briskly.

"I am fine however my mood evaporated when I found you near this monument" McGonagall sneered. Taking a deep breath, and forcing herself to not get a paperclip out, Hermione spoke with a calm tone, even though on the inside she was desperate to vent her anger out on the accursed monument. "Professor I did not mean to offend you but my patience is wearing thin on the wizarding world, and I have only been in it for 6 hours so please do not push me" she warned her old mentor.

Walking into the hall, she took a seat at the Gryffindor table, and waited for the headmaster to deliver his speech. "Greetings to another year at Hogwarts to our older students, and too our new students WELCOME. May I please note that the list of banned items, that can be viewed in Filches office is currently at number 645 items, including anything such as fanged Frisbees, yelling yoyos, and a new item has been added, the Hermione Granger dulling action figure, has also been banned, for the spells it cast's are a tad bit too dangerous, and further more.." Hermione drowned out the headmasters tone, and focused on one sentence, Action figure, she had been made into an action figure. WTF was wrong with the wizarding world. Vowing to destroy a punching bag later to vent her anger, she zoned back in to what Dumbledore, was talking about, and immediately wished she had not.

"Further, more The Hermione Granger Remembrance Day has been moved forward, to the late Miss Granger's Birthday, which is I believe the 19th of September. That's it she could not take another minuet of this. Standing up on the table, she put to fingers in her mouth, and promptly let out a high pitched whistle, that echoed of the chamber doors.

"Are you kidding me, a huge monument, action figures, REMEMBRANCE DAY, DID YOU PEOPLE KNOW HERMIONE, and DO YOU THINK SHE WANTS TO BE REMENBERED IN THIS WAY? HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW SHE IS DEAD? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK SHE LEFT THE SCHOOL, IN HATRED BECAUSE THE TWO PEOPLE SHE TRUSTED IN THE WHOLE WORLD, THE TWO PEOPLE SHE WOULD GIVE HER LIFE FOR, HAD USED HER? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THAT SHE WOULD HAVE DONE ALL OF THAT JUST TO DIE?" Hermione yelled, getting all of her anger, frustration and hatred out.

"How would you know?" yelled a tall freckled mugged boy who had to be Ron. "Simple I have spoken to her, I am her best friend, and unlike some people Ron, yeah she told me all about you Ron and Potter, how you used her like you did, it broke her, she literally went mad, she became full of hate, sadness, anger and grief. And why you may ask yourself? Because of you and the fact that you were selfish gits who used her, and when she needed you most you were not there for her" she spoke in a deadly whisper, with a voice like ice.

"I am the only person she trusts, do not ask me to tell her to come here because the answer is no, I won't betray her trust like you did to her."

Hermione stood up to leave but turned back, "My name is Myra Watson, and I come with a warning: Don't push someone over the edge, unless you are prepared to fall with them. With that she left the Great Hall and left the stunned faces behind her, she also missed a face


	6. Chapter 6

**HI SORRY I HAVE NOT UPDATED IN AGES**

**BUT MY LIFE HAS BEEN A BIT BUSY. ANYWAY HERE IS CHAPTER 6, OH ALSO I HAVE CHANGED THE FACT THAT HERMIONE LEFT AT THE END OF HER THIRD YEAR AND IS IN FACT 16 NOT 14 AS I HAVE WRITTEN PREVIOUSLEY. THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS AND ALTHOUGHT AS MUCH AS I WISH I DID I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER.**

CHAPTER SIX

Sighing Hermione, or rather Myra was walking around the castle thinking, of what she had just done. '_I have not been in this god dame castle for an hour, and already I nearly give the game away, stupid Hermione stupid, what would your trainers think, if they knew that you showed a lot of emotion, when I'm not supposed to feel anything.' _Sighing again she made her way up the staircase to the seventh floor, and trudged down to the Fat Lady, when she stopped and turned around, looking back the way she came, Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath letting her senses run wild. Opening her eyes again she detected another magical aura, which was very familiar, it was the aura of "Potter is there any reason as to why you were stalking me, under your invisibility cloak" she snapped.

Harry sheepishly took the cloak of and looked at Myra (A.N when Harry talks to Hermione he thinks she is Myra so I'll call Hermione Myra in those parts.)

"Sorry if I upset you Myra was it?" he inquired looking at the girl in front of him. "Don't apologize it's a sign of weakness" Myra growled at him, "And you didn't scare me" she exclaimed. "OK, um listen I know you have no reason to believe me, but…when you see Her…Hermione next could you tell her, that I'm sorry, just let her know that she was right and I was wrong, and that I'm so sorry that I did what I did, and that I regret it every day please just tell her that and I promise I won't bother her again" Harry was begging now, this was his only chance to fix his mistake.

Myra stared at him and sighed again for the third time that night. She regarded Harry with her eyes, searching his face to see if he was lying. Looking at his desperate face she replied "I can't promise anything, hell I can't even say when I'll see Hermione next. But if I do I'll pass on the message alright" she looked at Harry again who had a smile on his face. "Thank you so much Myra you have no idea how much this means to me, thank you so much" and with a smile on his face Harry walked to the common room, with a spring in his step that had been lost up till now.

Hermione stared at him as he walked away. Did he mean what he just said or was he trying to get her in the open just to hurt her again. Shaking her head in frustration, she was more confused than ever. Walking back the way she came, she went to the room of requirement, not feeling up to all the stares and whispers she would receive. Entering the room, she walked over to the bed it had provided her with, collapsed on it and fell into a troublesome sleep.

_She was running through the forbidden forest with Lupin closing in on her, she stumbled and tripped. Lupin pounced on her and bit into her leg and clawed at her stomach, then blackness._

_Waking up she was in the hospital wing she saw Dumbledore looking at her with sadness in his eyes, and Harry and Ron looking at her in disgust._

_The scene changed to her shouting at Harry and Ron. "Guys why are you acting this way, look I'm sorry about the Firebolt but that was months ago move on, please I need you two, please I'm your friend please" Harry and Ron just stared at her with loathing in their eyes. "Why would we help a pathetic mudblood animal like you" Ron sneered, Harry however just said nothing but a flicker of regret passed across his face before it was gone._

_The scene changed for the finale time when it showed her battered and bruised in the dungeons with Slytherins, Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws and Gryffindors surrounding her, all sneering at her "Mudblood Monster" over and over again._

Waking up sweaty and gasping for air, Hermione got up and pressed her head against the cool wall, and breathed deeply. Opening her eyes she smirked, they wanted a Mudblood monster; well she would give them one.


End file.
